Fake rice made of tiny pieces of rolled up paper were discovered earlier this week in Guangdong province after a woman noticed that her lunch was a bit harder to chew than usual.

The woman surnamed Cai told reporters that she and her family hadn’t noticed anything amiss until about halfway through their meal when she bit down on a piece of rice that was “unusually hard.”

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According to Apple Daily, Cai then took the piece out of her mouth, inspected it closely and watched in amazement as she rolled it out into a tiny strip of paper.

Cai told local police she had bought the rice from a street vendor who had assured her that the rice was grown locally out in the other countryside “without the use of any pesticides.” You know, he’s not a liar.

Earlier this year, reports emerged about plastic rice sold on the Chinese market making its way across Asia. This fake rice was a more edible-sounding mix of potatoes, sweet potatoes and delicious synthetic resin.

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According to Oryza.com, plastic-tainted rice grains remain hard after being boiled, and the soup made by it forms a very unappetizing plastic sheath ‘that burns like plastic’ when heated up.

We’re going to assume that rice made of tiny rolls of paper also doesn’t react well to being boiled.Robert Beerlak

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